When the feeling is gone..

when the feeling is gone 1

Is it really possible that a love so beautiful could end up so horrible? I remember what my mom told me when I was still a teenager that once the spark is gone in a relationship there must be something long lasting to take its place.

5 years ago I gave my heart to a man. I know what I felt at that time was real. It was true and pure. But slowly my love changed and diminishes with each passing day. The passion that had been so pervasive in the beginning gradually lessen. The excitement that each new day used to bring becomes just a dull routine. Slowly, I found myself falling out of love.

It’s not Him. Perhaps its me. My heart grew cold. A sheer of familiarity overwhelmed me, a slow growing apart make it even worse, bit by bit I’m taking him for granted. I became too preoccupied with so many things until I slowly found myself longing for other things and not Him.

What my mom said echoed through my ears. Perhaps it was the start. The ‘spark’ was gone, the ‘passion’ fades, my feelings vanished and my heart becomes numb. I asked myself so many times why it should end up this way? I didn’t  imagine that a love so beautiful could really end up so horrible. What I have is not a passionate relationship a wife has to her husband, neither  a romantic love of a girl to his long time boyfriend. Mine is a relationship with God.

I wondered where the spark has gone in our relationship? I was once on a spiritual high with all these spiritual endorphin shooting through my heart and mind, but after some time the high goes away. I felt weary spending time with Him. From a passionate and devoted follower to a lukewarm believer. It didn’t happened overnight. It was gradual, I didn’t wake up one day and just want to call it a quit. It’s the result of my day to day apathetic respond to God.

But I was won back by his perfect love, I was captivated by his relentless grace. His love is so unmoving and unwavering. He remains faithful, though I’m faithless. And most importantly He loves me anyway. If you found yourself on the same situation I once had. Here are the things that you can do to get back to that sweet spot in your relationship with God:

1. Spend time with Him

It doesn’t mean you know Him that you will stop seeking Him. Over familiarity kills any relationships. It is a disease of the heart and a dangerous spirit that must be avoided. The strongest battle is not fought outside but within. Don’t just act and look religious in public, but your attitude and respond to God is hostile and apathetic.

He doesn’t demand much from you. If you can finish a book in one sitting or check your Facebook or other social accounts from time to time. You can also set aside time daily to just be with Him to talk with Him and find out more about Him. Why not Give God what he deserves? “A son honors his father, and a slave his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the LORD Almighty (Malachi 1:6)

2. Go back to where you started.

When you lost your way, just go back to where you came from and you will surely find your way. Being believer doesn’t mean that you don’t have any single doubt in your mind. Time will come that your faith will be tested. As Jesus was also tested in all points (Matthew 4:1-11) but he overcome because he has “it is written” imprinted in his heart.

Go back to where you started. Back in the day that you first fell in love with Him. You read His Word constantly, you were always talking to Him. You long for his Word.

3. Remind yourself of ‘WHY’

Going back at the foot of the cross will always remind you of your why. That was the first time I fell in love with Him. Not because of guilt but I was so overwhelmed that such ‘love’ can really exist. To this world that is so corrupt and lost He gave all He could give to show us the reason to live  A person unworthy as me, a sinner and hopeless was loved by God. That brought down me to my knees. After years of just existing, I finally found the reason to live.

4. Protect you relationship

The thief comes only to steal, to kill and destroy (John 10:10). Fight a good fight of faith.  Just like how we find special ways to maintain and protect relationships with important people in our lives, we need to be purposeful in protecting our relationship with God. Let no one separate you from the love of God. (Romans 8:38-39)

5. Ask for a new heart

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26). We’re the ones whose hearts stray which is why we must continually recommit ourselves to the relationship. We must continually keep repenting of our straying hearts and go back to the God we first loved.

7 thoughts on “When the feeling is gone..

  1. Erica says:

    Very beautiful! I had a thought about this the other day. You can never imagine walking away from your First Love. But sometimes in the mundane tasks of life, it can happen without you even recognizing it until quite some time later. Thanks so much for the tips. Blessings! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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