Guarding your heart from Wrong Person

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My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone

I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

-One Last Cry, Brian Mc Knight

It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love you back. It’s painful to invest emotions to someone who doesn’t have the same feelings for you. What’s more heart breaking is when you gave everything to the person you love and yet it’s still not enough and in the end he just played with your heart.

I never had a boyfriend but that doesn’t exempt me from not feeling the pain of heart break. I’m human. I have feelings too. I also appreciate and  get attracted to guys, I also feel butterflies in my stomach, I also feel that magical moment when the whole world stops and stare for a while just like a scene in the movie when you see the man you like. But I resolved to guard my heart.

But why do we really have to protect our hearts? As what King Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Your heart is extremely valuable. You don’t guard worthless things. You just don’t put your expensive jewelries anywhere; you kept it hidden to a place where it is guarded because it is valuable.

Same goes with your heart. Your heart is the essence of who you are. It is the core of your being. It is the reflection of your life and it is the source of everything you do. It is where all your dreams, your desires, and your passions live. If your heart is broken and wounded, then your life will be miserable. It has an impact on everything else. It is, therefore, imperative that you guard it. Guide to protect yourself from a damaging heart break:

Don’t let others be reckless with your heart.

No one can break your heart unless you allow them to. Don’t just give your heart away to the first man who showed interest to you or to someone whom you feel strongly attracted to. Don’t let someone play and break your heart and in the same way don’t play with other people’s heart.

Value yourself

You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. Never think that you are a lesser person just because the person you love doesn’t love you back. To value yourself goes beyond regarding yourself as important and beautiful; it’s also about appreciating your good qualities and strengths. Invest time, energy, and effort to nurture and develop yourself. Commit to be the best person that you can be.

Don’t assume

Don’t assume that a guy likes you by his actions, gestures or hugot lines. If a man truly likes you he will say it to you without flowery words. Don’t fall into trap, there are men who are just nice and charming while some are really pa-fall (someone who intentionally make you fall for them but they don’t really take it seriously). A good friend of mine advised me that unless a man spoke to your leaders and parents and confessed his feelings for you, then his really serious. If not don’t take everything he say or do for you to your heart.

Follow life’s season

There’s a right time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. Don’t rush! Right love at the wrong time is still wrong love. As a farmer wait patiently for the spring season, we can’t rush love like a fruit picked green or flower plucked before it blossoms. Our attempt to rush things can ruin its potential. Each season of our lives has a different emphasis, focus and beauty.

Let God write your Love story

If you put your trust in mere men, they will let you down, but if you put your total trust in God, He will never let you down. Several times I found myself praying: “Lord let me help you write my love story!” but God just still my beating heart by saying “Relax my precious child; I know what I’m doing. My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways (Isaiah 55:8). Don’t let impatient robbed you of a wonderful love story God is preparing for you, don’t let premature love to overwhelm your soul. If you let God to write your love story it will be forever and its pure.

Letting Go of My One-sided Love

How would our lives change if you only know how I feel for you? This question has been lingering in my mind. I tried to imagine different scenarios of what could be. My mind tried to make a story of us. But I resolved to keep it hidden and locked in my heart. Only time knows if this will be revealed someday.

You came into my life unexpectedly. One day I was just living my own normal life. The next day, I just found myself excited to talk to you and have a glimpse of you. I was not searching for love when I met you neither until now. But there’s just something in you that makes me like you. Or perhaps it’s just because the heart is deceitful. I don’t know.

I’m always cautious. I’m constantly on guard of my emotions because I fully know myself well. But what started out as friendship has grown stronger. I never imagined I would develop feelings for you. I know you always see me as someone way out of your league and you’re the man I just consider as a good friend. But everything has changed and I guess our world flipped.

Once and for all, I have decided to end this. If the time will come I know I won’t have any regrets that I let go of my feelings for you. I need to unlike you.

I don’t want to doubt His plan

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Perhaps you might be someone else’s Mr. Right and the same goes with me. I don’t want to ruin a beautiful masterpiece just because I became impatient and driven by my emotions. There is only one person God has prepared for you. I don’t want to claim what’s not rightfully mine. I don’t want to end up, hurting and leaving you a scar. If we are meant for each other or even if we we are not, we still deserve the best and also be the best!

Let’s find what true love is 

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It’s hard to love if we don’t know what true love is. How can a person love someone if  s/he has never received it? If s/he has never experienced it? Love is giving a portion of you. It’s hard to give what you don’t have. I’ll give you time to find to what true love is. And when the day comes that you find someone and its not me I’ll be more than happy for you. Let the word LOVE be imprinted in our hearts before we give it to someone else.

Before the boy meets the girl both of them must meet Jesus
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Both of us are not yet ready. Marami pa tayong kakaining bigas. We are just starting in our own journey. Life has still a lot to offer. Let’s not settle for less, let’s spread our wings and fly. There are still a lot to learn and to experience. We haven’t reached the maturity in faith and in our personal life yet. Let just let God to use our lives first for his greater glory.

I’m doing you a favor

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As much as I’m not ready, I know you’re not yet ready. I’m giving you a favor of preserving your life. I don’t want to be a distraction to you for you to reach your highest potential. I know you’re better off without me. God has a lot stored for you, get it! There are mountains to conquer, you can overcome it! There are plenty of wonderful promises, claim it! I just want to love you unconditionally not just  as a man or  a lover but as a friend and as a brother in faith.

I will protect you

I know in someone eye’s you’re their precious possession. You are someone’s son, brother and friend. If I cause you pain and agony, they will also feel the same way. I will protect you and wont be the reason for your downfall or heartache. I will protect you from myself.

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Becoming Ms. Right

 

Becoming

Every woman’s dream is to find Mr. Right. But what many women fail to realize is that in order to find Mr. Right, it’s important to be Ms. Right. In the same way that we dream of a kind, handsome, smart, and stable guy; men also have their ideal woman in mind, a decent whom they can proudly introduce to their parents and friends, someone who came from good family, has good educational background and has good character and values.

Love is not just about waiting patiently; it’s also about preparing and making yourself the best to be a suitable person for the man of your dreams. Don’t rush love. Give it time, give it space and just be still for a spell. Love will find you if you’re ready and when everything is right. Make yourself the best, and desire to be a virtuous woman so you can manage your own family when the right time and right person come.

What every woman could learn from the Virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:

She is rare to find
10 A virtuous woman who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She is dependable and responsible
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

She is a home maker
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She is diligent and puts her heart to work
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

She has good and pure heart
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

She is reliable and doesn’t give in to idleness
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

She is faithful and a woman of purpose
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”

She is more than just a pretty face
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

You Love Me Anyway

There are hundreds of reasons why You shouldn’t love me. There are countless of mistakes I made that don’t deserve Your forgiveness.  But, You love me anyway.

How can Your love be so unrelenting and unwavering? How can a love be so pure and persistent? What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:4)

I am the one who yelled out from the crowd

I turned my back and forsake You but You love me anyway. Everything you said fell on deaf ears; with this sin in my heart I buried Your grace. I was once full of joy and committed in following you but my heart grew cold and became stone, I was overwhelmed by sin, it looked so appealing to me and now I’m broken and destroyed. Sin accomplished its purpose on me to steal, to kill and to destroy every life in me (John 10:10). But You remain as you are. If we are faithless, You remain faithful, for You cannot disown yourself (2 Timothy 2:13). Your unfailing love Lord is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds (Psalm 36:5).

I am thorn in your crown

I am humiliation to Your name but You love me anyway. My sins and my shortcomings are disgrace in Your Kingdom. I have done a lot of foolish things in the past; I’m so filthy and impure. My sins and transgressions are always before me but you still called me and invite me into a relationship with You. You said it is not the healthy who needs a doctor, but the sick. You have not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Mark 2:17). There is now no condemnation for those who are in Your presence (Romans 8:1). You washed away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin (Psalm 51:2).

I am the sweat from your brow

I am a disappointment but You love me anyway. How many times have I broken Your heart? How many times I caused you grief? I took the wrong road and I accidentally do it on a purpose. I was overwhelmed of the freewill you entrusted me. I removed my eyes from your will for me which is always good pleasing and perfect. I’m one of the reasons why You regretted that you made mankind when You saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. (Genesis 6:5-6) But how amazing you are, you still want to settle the matter with me. Though my sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool (Isaiah 1:18).

I am the nail in your wrist

I’m the reason for Your suffering but You love me anyway. You’re beaten, humiliated and ridiculed because of me. You accepted every insult, wrong judgment and condemnation they throw at you that was supposed to be for me. I’m a sinner. But You said that even if I’m the only person left, you will still die for me. Who is a God like You, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:18-20).

I am Judas kiss

I betrayed you but You love me anyway. Though I sat next to You in the table, though I’ve been with you proclaiming the good news, healing sick people and performing miracles. I let pride rule over my soul. I let selfish ambition and vain conceit take over my life. In exchange of thirty pieces of silver I lose everything. My pride and my arrogance became my downfall. I seek honor for myself, in my pride I don’t seek you, and in my thoughts there is no room for God. I overlooked everything You have done for me. I myself saw how You carried me on eagle’s wings and brought me for yourself from the land of slavery to land of freedom, from land of scarcity to the land of plenty, from worshiping idols to worshiping a true and living God. But I know all these things happened so the scripture will be fulfilled (John 19:36). You personally carried our sins in your body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By Your wounds we are healed (1 Peter 2:24). There is nothing I can do that will make You love me less.

We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God but He loves us anyway. True repentance is not based on tears you shed but by the changed life you live moving forward. God is calling you into a relationship with Him.

Disclaimer: This blog post is not the direct interpretation of the song. Its the personal rhema God revealed to me. I just love this song so much and I love sidewalk prophets!

Before You Say “Yes”: 6 Test of Love

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He said he likes you. He finally got the courage to confess his feeling for you. After months of just admiring you from afar he made a decision to bring it to the next level and court you. You were speechless, you felt the whole world stop and stare for a while. Then, you start to feel butterflies in your stomach. You’re ecstatic about his confessions but don’t be in a haste to say “yes” to courtship. Before you give your sweet approval, take a look at the 6 Test of Love:

1. Test of Intentions

Why does he like you? Know his true intentions by putting him under the scrutiny of your family and friends so it will become more crystal clear. Let him spend time and enjoy a Q&A portion with them. A man who truly loves you will try to win the favor of your family and the people important to you. Take heed of the advice of those people who genuinely love you before this man even came into the picture. Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22) If you’re sure that his intentions to you are good pleasing and perfect then say “yes”.

2. Test of Space

We developed a special liking to someone whom we usually spend time with because we get to see them every day; we have casual conversation with them and we have the chance to examine their life closely. But the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9) Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23). Give yourself a space, test your feeling, increase your social circle, and meet new people. Test if it’s still him you like amidst the crowd.

3. Test of Time

Only time knows the true worth of love. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. And you’re worth the wait! You’re a once in a lifetime kind of woman. Let him wait so you will know if he will really persevere and will still continue to win your heart. It’s also the time for you to reflect if his really the man God prepared for you. Timing in love is everything. Ask yourself the million dollar question; Is it already the perfect time under God‘s calendar? If not, do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires (Song of Songs 2:7)

4. Test of Knowledge

How well do you know him?  Do you have an idea what kind of family he has? What about his past? How many relationships did he have before you? What are his likes and dislikes? What principles govern his life? Would you still love him the same after you found out everything?  Don’t hesitate to know him more because he is the man whom you will entrust your heart. Know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32). Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:6-7).

5. Test of Maturity

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither (Psalm 1:1-3). In all that he does, he prospers.  Does he make the bible the final authority over his life? Does he walk uprightly before God despite the circumstances? Test his maturity by examining his decision making, how he handles difficult and challenging situation.

6. Test of Faithfulness

Does he love the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength and with all his mind? (Matthew 22:37) It’s a danger to fall in love to a man whose life is not fully surrendered to the Lord. Don’t be faithful to a man who is not even faithful to God. Choose a man who will bring you closer to God not to him because if not, no matter how ‘okay’ it will look like the ending will still be a broken and destroyed relationship. God is love, and love is God and without God you wont fully understand love.

To wait or not to wait

to wait or not to wait

The number of teenagers becoming mother at a very young age in the Philippines is at an alarming high.

Recent (2014) data from the Philippine Statistical Authority (PSA) reveal that every hour, 24 babies are delivered by teenage mothers. According to the 2014 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality (YAFS) study, around 14 percent of Filipino girls aged 15 to 19 are either pregnant for the first time or are already mothers. Read more here.

These numbers can be interpreted as more children who will grow up with broken homes, boost in the increasing number of child labor, raise in numbers of broken families, high abortion rate, unproductive human resources and the greater damage is a destroyed nation.

Reasons why you should not indulged yourself in premarital sex during your teenage years

1. It’s a lifetime responsibility

It’s not easy to raise a baby. A teenager who is not yet ready might be overwhelmed by the big responsibility and constant needs of the baby. Financial difficulty may also arise during a teen pregnancy or after the baby is born. It is expensive to raise a baby. Teens who do not have full-time employment may struggle to cover the basic expenses of life upon having a baby. Possibilities are teenage parents because of lack of education will just settle for a risky low-paying or illicit job.

2. You’re life is valuable

Teenage pregnancy is very risky. You will face a lot of complications such as premature labor, medical complication during the pregnancy period. Not only that, teenage mothers are most likely to suffer social consequences and emotional problems. Teen pregnancy should be highly discouraged has it has effect on the teenage mother and the baby born.

3. You deserve a better life

Don’t miss some of the best life’s experiences of marching on stage graduating from University, earning money and buying all the things that you want, travelling to different places, bonding with your friends, shopping and giving back to your parents just because of a night of passion. All your life you will be stuck in that miserable situation. Its not bad to have a family of your own, but its best if its at the right time.

4. Broken Promises

Every girls fantasy when they were little is to be a bride, to walk on the altar with their dad holding their one hand, while their favorite love song is playing on the background, wearing an elegant white wedding dress and veil, eyes locked on the dashing man waiting patiently on the altar. Family and friends are present witnessing their exchanged of vows and ‘I dos’, the promise of ‘til death do us part in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health’ will be sealed. But all those dreams will eventually vanish if you listen to a boy’s false promise. You deserved to be loved, not to be lust. You’re not destined to get pregnant out of wedlock. A man who truly loves you will ask your hand in marriage and will respect you. You’re a marrying type not just a bed warmer.

5. Wasted Potential

The world you see right now is a very small world compare to what you can see if you will only spread your wings and fly. You have a lot of potentials. You don’t know what your capable of doing. With proper training, years of studying and continuous hard work and effort you can be a great woman of purpose. You can be whoever you want to be. You’re supposed to be changing the world, not changing diapers. Don’t exchange your dreams to a man who doesn’t see your value.There’s more to life than the temporary feelings you have right now. Loving him is not the only thing in the world, its just a very small portion of it.

6. He is NOT the last and the only man in the world

Why give your entire life to the first boy who showed interest on you? Why be impressed to a boy who gives you flowers and chocolates, asked you out on a date using his parent’s money? There’s plenty of them in College, what more right after you graduate from University. Its not about finding Mr. Right, its about being the right and perfect person for that someone meant for you. Every woman dream of a tall, handsome, smart and well off guy. In the same way, man also dream of a woman whom they can proudly introduce to their parents and friends, someone who comes from good family, finished University and has good character and values. Why rushed love and make yourself believe that the boy you meet will be the last man you will ever meet? You will attract who you are, be careful how you made yourself to be. Make yourself the best and man will just line to get your attention.

7. You conceive a generation

The decisions you make today will affect your future. There are things in life that cant be changed once its finished, cant be alter once its done. Being pregnant at an early age will affect the generation inside your womb. Studies show that boys born to teenage mothers are 13 percent more likely to be incarcerated later in life and the girls born to teenage mothers are 22 percent more likely to become teenage mothers themselves. Inside of you is a generation, you’re not on your own.

8. Be responsible

Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it. Life is unfair, get used to it. Instead of trying to reason out your lack of opportunity for good education, and parental guidance, and growing up in bad and poor neighborhood why not use it as your strong reason for you to succeed. You have the power to change the course of your destiny. Turning to drugs and alcohol, indulging yourself to premarital sex wont solve the problem, it will only get the matters worse. Think of those people who were able to bounce back despite their negative circumstances. Be responsible for your own life because no one will be responsible for you.

Right love at the wrong time

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Everyone of us is in search of one true love. We all embark on a journey to find our happily ever after. Among the billions of people in the world we want to know whose heart perfectly fits ours. In finding the person God designed for you, love and time should coincide. You don’t need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. You don’t also need to say ‘yes’ to every man you meet just to make sure that you don’t miss your chance to meet your Mr. Right. Timing in love is everything. Right love at the wrong time is wrong love.

There’s a right time for everything and a season for every activity  under heaven. As a farmer wait patiently for the spring season, we can’t rush love like a fruit picked green or flower plucked before it blossoms. Our attempt to rush things can ruin its potential. Each season of our lives has a different emphasis, focus and beauty.

In my own journey of Love, I have met several men in different time and space, they all made my heart fluttered, they all have the qualities I’m looking for in a man, but timing will make a big difference because only time knows the true worth of love.

My Brother’s best friend

I remembered the first time I felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw my brother’s best friend walked in the door of our house when I was seven. I had a huge ‘crush’ on him that instant even before I knew what that word really meant. He was very nice and charming; he always does his homework with my brother after their class. Until one day, he stopped coming. I don’t know why, but as time passed by he was soon forgotten by my innocent and naive heart as I became too preoccupied with playing with my friends and savoring my sweet childhood days.

The boy next door

When I was twelve, I felt my heart skipped a beat, it was as if love at first sight when I laid eyes on the cool and attractive boy next-door when our family moved to another city. We became friends and we got along so well. His very funny and kind, I like spending time with him but I don’t why but after days, weeks and months the feeling soon withered. Maybe we are better friends than lovers or it was just indeed a puppy love since we were so young back then.

My geek seatmate

Then, it was when I was fifteen that I felt the whole world stops and stare for a while just like a scene in a movie when my long time crush, a geek, handsome, quiet guy seated next to me became my partner in our dance class. I felt like I was in cloud nine. But I don’t know why because the feeling soon disappear. In my fantasies, he was like a prince riding in a white horse but I realized he was not actually a prince but just a mere human with flaws and imperfections. My attention also shifted to see a bigger world waiting for me as I step out from the gates of my school.

Then here comes College life, when you will feel like you’re not pretty when you don’t have a boyfriend. You will see lovers everywhere; couples that look like match made in heaven, holding hands while walking, or being so lovey-dovey in the hallway and those who kiss and make out on the corner, publicly displaying their affection.

At that time, I started to muse lazily on love. Thinking perhaps it was the right time to enter in a relationship and to experience how it feels like to have a boyfriend. I began to search for someone who will fill the emptiness I feel, its as if there’s a hole inside my heart that longs for affection.

Our College Basketball rookie

Then, I met our College basketball rookie. His tall, dark, handsome, and not to mention smart and athletic. I watched all his games like a girl head over heels in love, cheering and giving him my support but I don’t know why but the feeling was soon replaced by something else. Perhaps, because he was indeed a ladies’ man and it’s just a one-sided attraction and somehow I realized it’s just normal to be infatuated to a popular guy, and what I feel for him is not real.

The man who has always been there

Then I turned 18, the age when teenagers are wild and out of control, following their raging hormones, wanting to assert their independence and explore their limits, taking risks, breaking rules, and rebelling against their parents.

I gave this man a chance to prove himself to me. I know that He exists and that He has always been there for me. But I was so busy and and too preoccupied with my own things. But through it all He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He never pushes himself to me, he never forced me to like him. He didn’t give me any conditions. He just waited until I’m ready to accept Him. This man showed me what true love is.. patient, unconditional and pure. A love that doesn’t rejoices with wrong things but rejoices with the truth. A love that always protects, always hopes and always perseveres. A love that expect nothing in return and is not selfish or self-seeking. He showed me what true love is when I saw him beaten, humiliated and ridiculed at the cross because of me although I am undeserved, unworthy and a sinner. I was amazed by that kind of love, unrelenting, unwavering, unyielding – and because of that love, I found myself on my knees.

The Nice Guy

After I committed to enter in a relationship with God for real, I met a nice guy. He is already working while I was still a student. He buys me gifts and he was very thoughtful. He is also very responsible and family oriented. He confessed his feelings for me, but I resolved to say no. In my heart I have three reasons why: firstly, I’m still a student, at that time, I’m already firm with my conviction not to awaken or arouse love until He desires, until the right time comes. Secondly, He maybe a good option but not the best choice. I made up my mind that before I enter into any romantic relationship, both of us should have a relationship with God first. Because its hard to be faithful to a man who is not even faithful to God. And lastly, I tested him to tell his intentions to my parents but he lacks the courage. A man who can’t face your parents can’t really stand and fight for you until the end.

Now, I’m 22 as I looked back in my life. I saw how He preserved not just my life but my heart. He opened my eyes that there’s a right time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.  As a farmer wait patiently for the spring season, I can’t rush love like a fruit picked green or flower plucked before it blossoms, because my attempt to rush things can ruin its potential. He revealed to me that above all else I should guard my heart and not just to it give to anyone who showed interest on me or to someone I just met. And that my heart is deceitful, there is no sure guarantee that what I feel right now will still be the same tomorrow and on the coming months and years to come. Love is not just an emotion, it’s a decision and a commitment because the danger of believing that you ‘fall in love’ is that you can also ‘fall out of love’.