Secrets to Long-lasting Friendship

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The memories of the good old day days came flooding back as I stepped in the gates of my Alma mater.  This place has witnessed blissful moments of my wonderful high school life, stories weaved together and are now written on the walls that I tried to relive in my mind thousand times, wishing to move back the hands of time bringing it back to life.

As I paced through the long, narrow pathway of a now old school, I noticed its very different now. I started to marvel the new image of my alma mater, trying to capture the changes that were made. Once there were fewer buildings and more trees but now there are more buildings and fewer trees. The rooms of different clubs and orgs were no longer on its original place-and the Newsroom that was once our home underwent a repair. It’s true indeed that change is the only thing constant in this world.

In this same small village school, I met my best friend. We were inseparable back then; savoring the moment of our youth, doing what we love to do and following our heart’s desire, dreaming of a brighter future where impossibility was just an unknown word. We’re partners in crime doing our crazy adventures. We’re each other’s no. 1 loyal supporter in our every endeavor. But as all good things must come to an end, the joy we had was only short lived when life confronted us of its harsh reality. We were forced to take our separate ways to follow our dreams. She wants to be a dentist, while I was firm to pursue my passion to be a soon Media practitioner. After taking one last glimpse, I left. For me, it was time to move on.

A decade had passed.  People just come and go, but once in a while, you meet someone who will be with you for life. She is a precious gem I’m glad I found.  A treasure I wouldn’t trade for anything or anyone. We stand the test of time, were miles apart but our friendship remains. Let me share the secret to long lasting friendship:

1. Allow your friend to explore the world

As you grow older you realized how small place you occupy in this world. Allow each other to discover endless possibilities and be expose in a bigger and tougher world outside the comfortable world you created. Don’t put your friend in a box for your own comfort and liking. Be happy for what ever path your friend has chosen.

2. Help each other to reach your fullest potential

Be joyful as your friend achieve great milestone. Continuously push your friend to his/her next level. Don’t let your friend live a life of a mediocrity. But you will constantly remind each other of the potential that needs to be awaken inside of you. Your friend’s success is also your success.

3. Understand that you can’t always be together

Your friend will not always be with you, there will come a time that friends move away because of family decision, job opportunities, school matter, and other reasons but that does not mean the friendship has to end. Different communication platforms were made to keep relationship open. This can still make the friendship meaningful and long lasting. And its not just about the quantity of time you spend together but more of the quality.

4. Be dependable and trustworthy

Everyone of us need a reliable friend in whom we can confide in, trust, and share some of the most personal details and needs of our lives. Be someone your friend can rely on, someone who will always be there in whatever season of life. Be the friend that you want to have.

5. Give each other ‘me time’

We all need our space from time to time. We need ‘me time’ to think and to examine one’s life. The time spent away from one another can help you to appreciate your friendship and the time you spend with one another. Space is important so you won’t get and over familiar with each other’s presence to the point that you take each other for granted.

6. Acknowledge that no relationship is perfect

If you want to have long lasting friendships be flexible and forgiving. Understand that no person or relationship is perfect. There will be times that you will feel disappointed because of unmet expectation, days that you feel like your friend is not doing the same effort as you do. It’s only part of your friendship journey. Its only give and take, forgive and forget.

7. Respect each other’s  differences

There’s beauty in diversity. My best friend is my complete opposite, we’re like water and oil, black and white, east and west but it doesn’t mean we don’t get along well. In fact, we compliment each other and our difference keep us together.

8. Make time for each other

Strive to be in your friend’s special moments for it only happen once  a year. Always be willing to make small sacrifices in your schedule. These small sacrifices help cement a stronger foundation in your friendship.

10 Valuable lessons I’ve learned from My Writing Coach

He may be heartless and unreasonable. And at some point, he made us feel like he doesn’t care because he talks less and he always gives us a cold shoulder. We were on the verge of giving up because of frustration and distress but good thing we remain steadfast and made the right decision to stay and not missed the greatest life lessons we will ever learned. Because all those things are just part of the learning process he prepared for us without us knowing it. It was his way of training us as journalists in the making.

It has been 6 years but it feels like only yesterday. The lessons I’ve have learned in the four corners of the Newsroom with our Writing Coach will forever remain in my mind and in my heart.

1.Believe in yourself!

“Believe in yourself because if you don’t, no one will do.”                                    

He pushed me to my limits. He gave me difficult tasks. He made me do impossible things. He let me suffer. He allowed me to experience the worst. Only to let me see what I’m capable of doing. Only to let me realized that my fears are not real. Only to let me overcome my doubts and unbelief. I began to see things in a new light and I started to believe in myself.

2. Know your Priority

“Learn to say ‘No’.”                                                                                                    

Priority is giving up everything just to purse your chosen path. If you want to accomplish something worthwhile, it requires your undivided attention. You can’t be the jack of all trade because you won’t gain mastery over anything. And it’s impossible to serve two masters, its either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others

“You are a piece in the puzzle”                                                                                  

Every piece carries its own impact on the whole of the puzzle. Every piece must be in the right place in order for the big picture to be revealed. Every piece is important to the whole and each one has a unique contribution to the puzzle. No piece is any greater than another. He encouraged me to play my role well and be just who I am without pretense. Each one of us is created with a specific role to play. If I lose my identity the puzzle will never be complete.

4. Failure is part of your journey to success

“You failed, but you’re not a failure.”      

When you failed, there’s a fear that will stop you from trying again, there’s a voice that will constantly remind you of your past failures. You will start seeing yourself as someone who’s not good enough, you lose confidence and you start to create a world free of pain and disappointments by just staying in your comfort zone because your fear of failure is so strong that you don’t even want to do something risky. But he encouraged me that I failed because I tried and failure is just a small moment in time and soon no one will remember. Besides, it’s impossible not to fail at something in life, there will be things you are doing for the first time, things you are not good at, times you just get things wrong or under estimated the task in hand.

5. Discipline of Time

“You have a lot of time to do it, but you also have a lot of time not to do it.” 

Time is something that cant you can’t turn back once it’s gone. When you have a lot of time you tend to procrastinate, do unnecessary things and meaningless talk. He taught us to be disciplined in small things and to just focus on the tasks at hand and success will just follow naturally.

6. Character is very important

“Your skills will put you on top but your character will make you stay there.”

Skills can be sharpened and improved but your character is who you are as a person, it what makes you stand out. Skills by itself is not enough to be successful, your reputable character matters big time.

7. Follow your passion

“Pen is mightier than sword.”                                                                                      

Don’t stop making this world a better place through your passion for writing. You don’t know the impact that you can create by the words you write and the ideas you express. People write because they have their own reasons. Write something what you only hold in your heart to be true; with integrity and reliability don’t be afraid to tell the truth.

8. Confront your weaknesses

“Don’t deny your weaknesses, confront it.”                                                          

Don’t be in denial; every one of us has their own weakness. Only when you accept the fact that you’re not good at something, you will start to recognize that you need to improve and develop that area. The first step to be great is to learn how to confront your weakness and make a constant effort to improve it.

9. Make the best of your Strength

 “Capitalize your strength.”  

Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t do. Make the best of your strength and be confident in what you know. Demonstrate your strengths by letting those gifts, talents and abilities you have shine through.  Don’t be intimidated by what others are doing.  Focus on what you do and do it to the best of your ability.

10. Read good books    

“You are what you read.”          

He despised the books we read, for him those are trash. He constantly encouraged us to read good books. Books that will give us wisdom and useful insight. Because “Reading of good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.”